Hands Free Mama: Presentness

Chapter 4 - Recognize the gift of today

"One day at a time - this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering." Ida Scott Taylor

Weekly intention: Take time to pause for what's important

"I have today. Yesterday is gone. All the mistakes, failures, poor choices, and the things I wish I could do over, they are gone. 
Today stands before me with arms wide open.
All I have to do is grasp it."  
What a challenging paragraph! It is so easy to get caught up in the past and miss today. It is also to get caught up in the mundane, necessary daily tasks of laundry and washing up etc, and miss the people who really matter.
The 'intention' this section is to respond to your children immediately rather than saying 'in a minute' or 'after I've done...'. According to the author even 60 seconds of undivided attention can have a positive impact on the behaviour and atmosphere in the home. I'm up for trying that; will you join me?

Weekly intention: Start a simple family tradition

I've been thinking about family traditions for a while now, but usually my thoughts remain at Christmas, Easter and holidays. But we can have little 'everyday' traditions; routine activities which create a past, create memories with the people you love. And all those little everyday moments add up to something that matters.  

One idea of a new tradition that I like the idea of is family games night... I need to have a think about how we can do it.

Weekly intention: Speak words of love

"There will come a day when she no longer wants to hold my hand.

So I will hold it while I still can.

There will come a day when she no longer tells me what's on her mind. 

So I will listen while she still wants to talk to me.

There will come a day when she no longer says, 'Watch me, Mama!'

So I will observe and encourage while I can.

...

So instead of being too busy,

Too tired,

Or too distracted when she seeks my love and attention,

I will be ready and waiting

To make her a well-loved child

While I still can."

Each day I can try to say 'I see you' or 'You matter' or 'I love to watch you' to my children and watch how they respond.

Weekly intention: Without fail, give a proper goodbye

Caleb is still at the stage of doing big hellos and good-byes. When I pick him up from somewhere I have to brace myself for the impact of a child flying at me with the words "I missed you Mummy!" But somehow my big girl Zoë-Grace has moved on to a more reserved farewell/hello and I'm missing it - I wonder if she is too? I love the idea of 'XOXO before you go' and will chat to her about it later.

Review progress from previous weeks

1. Go hands-free at meal times and evenings - good to be reminded as I have slipped a bit!
2. Buy/find alarm clock - found and needs to be set and then phone can stay downstairs at bedtime.
3. Improve the 'school to dinnertime' window - we are getting there and definitely have seen some improvements, but I can continue to do more (as always!)
4. Set aside the to-do list for a time period when Caleb is around and play with him - I need to make more of a concerted effort here and plan to write a Summer List of Fun to work through with him.
5. Go public on Facebook/blog - I am sharing these blogs on Facebook and sharing status updates when appropriate
6. Tell Steve, Zoë-Grace and Caleb what I am trying to do - Done!
7. Start a journal with Zoë-Grace - I have bought the journal and talked to her about it but need to actually set it up.
8. Start an Appreciation Journal with Steve - I have bought the journal and need to start!
9. Have distraction free time with Steve - Need to schedule some more evenings.
10. Improve drive time - We have been listening to CDs and chatting about the songs.
11. Engage in household tasks together - hmm, need to think about this one... and then actually do it!
12. Create a Connection Time activity bag - I've started collecting items to put in a bag. I am planning on mostly using things from around the house, but one new item I have bought are some story cubes.
13. Participate wholeheartedly in a loved one's activities - I am trying!

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The book I'm reading is Hands Free Mama: A guide to putting down the phone, burning the to-do list and letting go of perfection to grasp what really matters, by Rachel Macy Stafford, Zondervan.com All quotes are from the book unless otherwise stated.