40 in 2018: February

“Some say they get lost in books, but I find myself, again and again, in the pages of a good book. Humanly speaking, there is no greater teacher, no greater therapist, no greater healer of the soul, than a well-stocked library.”  

L.R.Knost - Little Hearts/Gentle Parenting Resources

My aim was to read 40 books before I was 40 in March 2019; I had no idea of how many books I normally read as I'd never kept a list, but I am now aware that I am likely to read 40 books in 4 months! Oh well, I will keep listing the books and see how many I get up to!

When I plan my books for the month I'm hoping to read a range of books. These will include:

• A Classic: this is a book off the BBC's Big Read Top 100 Books list which I haven't yet read (or can't remember reading).The Big Read was a survey on books carried out by the BBC in the UK in 2003, where over three quarters of a million votes were received from the British public to find the nation's best-loved novel of all time.
• Bookish Mamas Book Club: last month I forgot to mention that I am now part of an on-line Book Club called Bookish Mamas. This is really exciting as I'd love to be in a book club but a real life one has never worked for me; hopefully this will be good and I'll get to read some different books and get to talk about them!
• Unfinished Business: it is rare for me to choose to stop reading a book, but sometimes I just get distracted by another book and forget to finished a book. Usually this is a book which requires a little more effort! So my hope is to aim to finish an unfinished book each month.

Books I read in January

Requiem for a Mezzo (Daisy Dalrymple 3) by Carola Dunn
Spiffing! Daisy invites her beau, and Chief Inspector, Alec Fletcher to a concert where her next door neighbour is singing - and so when murder happens on stage Daisy is, once again, in the thick of things. These books are full of 1920s detail and plot twists, but are easy and uncomplicated to read.

The Bloody Tower by Carola Dunn
Another cracking 1920s whodunnit featuring the now married Daisy Fletcher. This book was based at The Tower of London and was very atmospheric, including a 'pea-soup' fog! There were some good twists in the plot which kept me guessing all the way to the end.

Always Watching (Elite Guardians 1) by Lynette Eason
Without Warning (Elite Guardians 2) by Lynette Eason
I always thought that when it came down to Kindle versus actual book that books would always win out, but I have been sucked in to the Kindle app on my phone and laptop, and enticed by free books! These two Elite Guardian books were such books... I am big fan of Christian crime thrillers (I know it sounds odd) but I really enjoy the solving of the clue without lots of gruesome violence, sex and swearing. I really enjoyed both books with the lead female protagonist, gripping plotline, and a sub-plot of a love story. I'm tempted to buy the next in the series but want to wait until they are at a lower price!

The Power by Naomi Alderman

Unfinished! It is rare for me to stop reading a book, but when the book makes me emotionally feel rubbish then the right decision is to stop reading it.

All over the world women are discovering they have the power. With a flick of the fingers they can inflict terrible pain - even death. Suddenly, every man on the planet finds they've lost control. 

The Day of the Girls has arrived - but where will it end?

This was the first book from the Bookish Mamas bookclub and I hadn't heard of it before it was announced. But the endorsement by Margaret Atwood (author of The Handmaid's Tale) made me very wary as I had studied The Handmaid's Tale for A-Level English Literature and really disliked the book. I found that the book degenerated into too much gratuitous sex/violence/chaos to be enjoyable. But, I joined a book club to read new and different books, and I have enjoyed discussing the book with others.

Handle With Care by Jodi Picoult
Jodi Picoult is an author that I have a bit of a love-hate relationship with! I think it's probably because her stories are often too uncomfortable to be an enjoyable read; they make you think through complex situations. In this book Willow, a 5 year old, has brittle bone disease and her mother makes the decision to sue her doctor for allowing the pregnancy to continue. The book looks at how that decision affects the whole family, including Willow's father and sister. I enjoyed the book but wouldn't have it on my reread list!

The Black Ship by Carola Dunn
This is the third and final Daisy Dalrymple book that I read this month after picking them up from a charity shop. Another great 1920s crime book which keeps you guessing right to the end; this book features bootleggers, American gangsters and an international liquor smuggling operation via black ships!

Valley of the Shadow by Carola Dunn
Yes, this is the same author as the Daisy Darymple series, but it's from her Cornish series. I picked this one up as a freebie when I bought The Power at a charity shop.

The third in a charming cosy crime series set in 1960's Cornwall featuring amateur sleuth 

and charity shop worker, Eleanor Trewynn and her westie Teazle.

I found this to be an ok read, but it's not the greatest mystery book. It did provoke some thought into the smuggling of people though...


**Book of the month**
Walking the Nile by Levison Wood
The final book of the month isn't a cosy crime novel, but a travel non-fiction book. A few years ago we discovered the TV documentary featuring Levison Wood walking the length of the Nile and really enjoyed it. Late last year I bought the book to accompany the programme and started reading it. It is a great book which shares the stories of seven different African countries; the terrain, the people, the history and the future hopes. I had to take a pause from it as I couldn't face reading about the death of a journalist who walked part of the route, but after rewatching the TV series this month I felt ready to face it; it was handled with great honesty and compassion.

Of all the books I have read this month, this has to be my favourite and the one that I would recommend everyone to read! I am now looking forward to reading one of his other books!

In this detailed, thoughtful, inspiring and dramatic book, recounting Levison Wood's walk the length of the Nile, he will uncover the history of the Nile, yet through the people he meets and who will help him with his journey, he will come face-to-face with the great story of a modern Africa emerging out of the past.

Books I hope to read in February

A Classic:
The Fellowship of the Rings (The Lord of the Rings, Book 1) by J.R.R.Tolkien
This is top of the BBC Big Read 100 Books list, so let's start here! Eek! Not a small book to start! I've started this a few times but not managed to read the whole trilogy, or even the first book. Hopefully I'll be successful this month. I'll treat myself to the film to give me some encouragement...

Bookish Mamas Book Group:
The Secret of Nightingale Wood by Lucy Strange

The second book for our book club is another new one for me; given that it is aimed at children 9 and up I am hopeful that it'll be a nicer read than last month's book!

Unfinished Business:
The Whistler by John Grisham
Another legal thriller from the master of legal thrillers. This book is about the most corrupt judge in US history and a young investigator with a secret informant.

Other books:
Outlander by Diana Gabaldon

I decided I needed to explore another new author and the name Diana Gabaldon has come up a few times as a good historical romance author. So, I thought I would give her a go. I haven't seen Outlander on TV so I'm looking forward to reading this without any preconcieved ideas.

Walking the Himalayas by Levison Wood
After loving Walking the Nile, I am excited to read the next book from Levison Wood. We're also going to watch the TV series which accompanies the book.

Redemption by Karen Kingsbury

I love re-reading books, and the Baxter Family series by Karen Kingsbury are one of those series that I often go back to. They are full of real life scenarios and dilemmas, but handled from a Christian perspective and with biblical quotes. I often find myself challenged and encouraged by these books. I imagine that I will read a few more of these books in February.

Hands Free Mama by Rachel Macy Stafford
I have been reading this book for a while now - it's one that needs to be read and pondered, rather than rushed through. I have also been blogging about each chapter as I go. However I'm hopeful that I can finish it this month!

Simplify by Bill Hybels
For a while now I've been decluttering physical items and am starting to see some real progress (though there is a long way to go yet). This book goes one step further and looks at eradicating clutter from my soul. I'm looking forward to 'simplify' my life from the principles I read...

Total list of books read in 2018

11. Walking the Nile by Levison Wood
10. Valley of the Shadow (Cornish Mystery 3) by Carola Dunn
9. The Black Ship (Daisy Dalrymple 18) by Carola Dunn
8. Handle With Care by Jodi Picoult
7. The Power by Naomi Alderman
6. Without Warning (Elite Guardians 2) by Lynette Eason
5. Always Watching (Elite Guardians 1) by Lynette Eason
4. The Bloody Tower (Daisy Dalrymple 16) by Carola Dunn
3. Requiem for a Mezzo (Daisy Dalrymple 3) by Carola Dunn
2. Death of a Policeman (Hamish Macbeth) by M.C.Beaton
1. Black Raven (Shetland Book 1) by Ann Cleeves

Hands Free Mama: Clarity

Chapter 6 - See life through undistracted eyes

"Look at everything as though you were seeing it either for the first or last time. 

Then your time on earth will be filled with glory." Betty Smith

Weekly intention: Identify Your Hands Free Enemies

"It is in the times I least want to be Hands Free that I most need to be Hands Free." p110
Oh, this is so true! When I am tired it is so easy to try and retreat and hide from my family, but the tiredness is usually (but not exclusively) my own fault due to staying up too late. My morning's are definitely a difficult time and I need to think about how I can improve them. Back in August/September 2016 I spent some time working through a  2-week course called Make Over Your Mornings and I think I should revisit it - this will enable me to remember the things I learn and discover new ideas for my current mornings.

Weekly intention: Take Ten Minutes For Show And Tell

Zoë-Grace spends most of her time during the week at school, and in September Caleb will be joining her. So I need to make sure that I connect with them when they come home. Our after school routine is improving (see task 3) and we are already spending more time together, but I love the idea of a 'show and tell' from the day.

Weekly intention: Create A Moments That Matter List

If I get upset about small things, then how will I handle bigger issues? God is in control of my life, so I need to relax and trust Him and look for the opportunities that He has given me to connect with my family. For example, waiting for the doctor is an opportunity to talk or play with my children. Rachel Macy Stafford suggests keeping an actual list of Moments that Matter and learn to notice the positives - I'm off to find a notebook! Okay, actually I think I will use my diary and keep everything in the same place...

Notice the Good

To see the high check marks on the report card before I see the low ones …

To see her beautiful swimming form before I notice what place she comes in …

To see she’s dressed herself before I notice the cowboy boots and tank top combination …

To see she’s made her own breakfast before I notice cereal scattered across the counter …

To see the clever artwork she’s created before I notice the mess …

To see the way she beams when she plays her guitar before I notice the out-of-tune notes …

To see the effort and the attempt before I see the mistakes and the shortcomings …

To see the beauty and goodness before I see the flaws and imperfections.

This is how I want to live. To notice the good—always the good—before anything else … and above all else.

© Rachel Macy Stafford 2012

Review progress from previous weeks

1. Go hands-free at meal times and evenings 
2. Buy/find alarm clock - found and needs to be set and then phone can stay downstairs at bedtime. But I can't work out how to set it!! Way too complicated!
3. Improve the 'school to dinnertime' window - we are getting there and definitely have seen some improvements, but I can continue to do more (as always!)
4. Set aside the to-do list for a time period when Caleb is around and play with him - I need to make more of a concerted effort here and plan to write a List of Fun to work through with him, especially as he's off to school in September
5. Go public on Facebook/blog
6. Tell Steve, Zoë-Grace and Caleb what I am trying to do
7. Start a journal with Zoë-Grace - We have started this! It's slow going at the moment as Zoë-Grace is still learning to read and write, but I love that we've already opened up this communication book.
8. Start an Appreciation Journal with Steve - I have bought the journal and need to start!
9. Have distraction free time with Steve - Need to schedule some more evenings.
10. Improve drive time 
11. Engage in household tasks together - trying, but can do better.
12. Create a Connection Time activity bag - I've started collecting items to put in a bag. I am planning on mostly using things from around the house, but one new item I have bought are some story cubes.
13. Participate wholeheartedly in a loved one's activities - Swimming and gymnastics
14. Take time to pause for what's important - respond to the children immediately, even if it's for 60 seconds
15. Start a simple family tradition - need to have a think
16. Speak words of love - say 'I see you' or 'You matter' or 'I love to watch you'
17. Without fail, give a proper goodbye - chat with the children about some ideas, and make sure Steve and I say goodbye properly
18. Create a Sun Delay - after school/preschool greet the children with excitement, interest and warmth - there is no need for my phone to be out!
19. Engage in Do-Nothing Moments - make sure I have time with each child every day
20. Wait Joyfully - and notice what happens! (But make sure I allow enough time for the children to be slower!)
21. Go where life is simple - schedule some unstructured time this week - give the children the choice

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The book I'm reading is Hands Free Mama: A guide to putting down the phone, burning the to-do list and letting go of perfection to grasp what really matters, by Rachel Macy Stafford, Zondervan.com All quotes are from the book unless otherwise stated.

Hands Free Mama: Serenity

Chapter 5 - Take pause

"There is more to life than simply increasing its speed." Mahatma Ghandi

Stock Image from internet

Weekly intention: Create a Sun Delay

What is the first thing my children see when they wake up - is it me or my phone? What is the first thing my children see when I pick them up from preschool and school - is it me or my phone? Or are there Sun Delay moments? (Sun Delay is a term used in american traffic reports when the glare of the sun is so strong that drivers have difficulty seeing the road and have to slow down.)

"No matter what I am in the middle of doing,

No matter how inconvenient it is to look up,

No matter how busy I think I am,

When my children walk in the room,

When my children hop in the car,

When my children and I are reunited after a separation, 

The world is going to stop for a moment.

And I will shine my love into their eyes and into their hearts,

So my children see and feel how much I love them."

According to parenting expert Janet Lansbury there are three key moments when our children want our full attention: when we reconnect after a time of separation, when they are performing or exerting themselves, and during meals. These are three distinct times when I can definitely go hands-free.

Weekly intention: Engage in do-nothing moments

When do I actually sit down and enjoy time with the children, or do I use that time to accomplish tasks (or even worse, waste time on social media)? If I can slow down and spend time with the children I have the opportunity for cuddles, as well as hearing their thoughts, questions, revelations, troubles, or triumphs.
There are loads of opportunities for 'do-nothing moments' in our week: after-school, TV time, swimming lessons, gym lessons etc. What a challenge for me! I need to be available to my beautiful children.
Some ideas for 'do-nothing moments' suggested in the book are cuddle together, take a walk, listen to their heartbeat, sit outside and observe nature, and watch them play.

Weekly intention: Wait joyfully

"It's time to slow down and listen. The world will undoubtedly keep whizzing by, but wait. Just wait. In times of stillness, joy and love can find you, bringing you closer to the place you are meant to be." p97
This isn't an excuse to be late; it is an encouragement to slow down and use the time of waiting to observe and meditate. 

Weekly intention: Go where life is simple

Our modern-day lives can be busy and full of stuff that we feel we have to do. But most of it is not important and we can simplify: "you can only enjoy life when you slow down" p99. But we have to choose it and make it a priority! The challenge in this section is to schedule unstructured family time this week, which I will find hard as I am a planner, but I will do my best!

Review progress from previous weeks

1. Go hands-free at meal times and evenings 
2. Buy/find alarm clock - found and needs to be set and then phone can stay downstairs at bedtime. But I can't work out how to set it!! Way too complicated!
3. Improve the 'school to dinnertime' window - we are getting there and definitely have seen some improvements, but I can continue to do more (as always!)
4. Set aside the to-do list for a time period when Caleb is around and play with him - I need to make more of a concerted effort here and plan to write a List of Fun to work through with him, especially as he's off to school in September
5. Go public on Facebook/blog
6. Tell Steve, Zoë-Grace and Caleb what I am trying to do
7. Start a journal with Zoë-Grace - We have started this! It's slow going at the moment as Zoë-Grace is still learning to read and write, but I love that we've already opened up this communication book.
8. Start an Appreciation Journal with Steve - I have bought the journal and need to start!
9. Have distraction free time with Steve - Need to schedule some more evenings.
10. Improve drive time 
11. Engage in household tasks together - trying, but can do better.
12. Create a Connection Time activity bag - I've started collecting items to put in a bag. I am planning on mostly using things from around the house, but one new item I have bought are some story cubes.
13. Participate wholeheartedly in a loved one's activities - Swimming and gymnastics
14. Take time to pause for what's important - respond to the children immediately, even if it's for 60 seconds
15. Start a simple family tradition - need to have a think
16. Speak words of love - say 'I see you' or 'You matter' or 'I love to watch you'
17. Without fail, give a proper goodbye - chat with the children about some ideas, and make sure Steve and I say goodbye properly

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The book I'm reading is Hands Free Mama: A guide to putting down the phone, burning the to-do list and letting go of perfection to grasp what really matters, by Rachel Macy Stafford, Zondervan.com All quotes are from the book unless otherwise stated.

40 in 2018: January

I always plan to record the books that I read so I can look back at the end of the year and know what I've read and how many I've read, but I never get round to it... This year I have set myself the challenge of 40 before 40: 40 things for me to achieve before I am 40 in March 2019, and one of those things is to read 40 books. Pre-children this would have been an easy challenge but now my time is taken up with caring for little people I have less time to read.

Each month I will give you a round up of the books I have read in the previous month and show you a pile of books I hope to read in the coming month. So here goes with the January post...

Books I hope to read this month

Requiem for a Mezzo (Daisy Dalrymple 3), The Bloody Tower (Daisy Dalrymple 16) and The Black Ship (Daisy Dalrymple 17) by Carola Dunn
I picked these three books up in a charity shop just before Christmas, filling the gaps in the whole series that I've already collected and read. These books aren't challenging at all, but they are warm, funny and contain simple mysteries.

Hands Free Mama by Rachel Macy Stafford
I have been reading this book for a while now - it's one that needs to be read and pondered, rahter than rushed through. I have also been blogging about each chapter as I go. However I'm hopeful that I can finish it this month, or at least early February if not!

Praying through the Bible for your kids by Nancy Guthrie
This is a daily devotional book which will see me through the whole year - I'll add it to the list but not comment on it each month!

Books I read last month (so far in January in this blog!)

Death of a Policeman (Hamish Macbeth) by M.C.Beaton
I love these books - humorous murder mysteries set in the bleak Scottish countryside! This wasn't the best that I've read out the series, but for a library book it was a good read.

Local police stations all over the Scottish Highlands are being threatened with closure and this presents the perfect opportunity for Detective Chief Inspector Blair, who would love nothing more than to get rid of Sergeant Hamish Macbeth. Blair suggests that Cyril Sessions, a keen young police officer, visit the town of Lochdubh to monitor exactly what Hamish does every day. On hearing of Blair's plans Hamish is fully prepared to ensure young Cyril returns back to headquarters with a full report... but before he can do that, Cyril is found dead and Hamish very quickly becomes the prime suspect for his murder...

Black Raven (Shetland Book 1) by Ann Cleeves
My Dad has been reading these books for a while now and I decided to borrow it whilst we were staying. I haven't read anything by Ann Cleeves before or watched the television adaption so had no idea of what to expect. I was really pleased to see that Ann Cleeves didn't rely on sex or swearing to fill the story, but I was disappointed at the end as it felt rushed and had a twist that I really didn't expect. I'd quite like to re-read the book to see if there were more clues left as to the murderer. Looking forward to getting hold of the second book in the series.

It is a cold January morning and Shetland lies buried beneath a deep layer of snow. Trudging home, Fran Hunter's eye is drawn to a vivid splash of colour on the white ground, ravens circling above. It is the strangled body of her teenage neighbour Catherine Ross. As Fran opens her mouth to scream, the ravens continue their deadly dance . . .

The locals on the quiet island stubbornly focus their gaze on one man - loner and simpleton Magnus Tait. But when police insist on opening out the investigation a veil of suspicion and fear is thrown over the entire community. For the first time in years, Catherine's neighbours nervously lock their doors, whilst a killer lives on in their midst.

Total list of books read in 2018

2. Death of a Policeman (Hamish Macbeth) by M.C.Beaton
1. Black Raven (Shetland Book 1) by Ann Cleeves