Hands Free Mama: Serenity

Chapter 5 - Take pause

"There is more to life than simply increasing its speed." Mahatma Ghandi

Stock Image from internet

Weekly intention: Create a Sun Delay

What is the first thing my children see when they wake up - is it me or my phone? What is the first thing my children see when I pick them up from preschool and school - is it me or my phone? Or are there Sun Delay moments? (Sun Delay is a term used in american traffic reports when the glare of the sun is so strong that drivers have difficulty seeing the road and have to slow down.)

"No matter what I am in the middle of doing,

No matter how inconvenient it is to look up,

No matter how busy I think I am,

When my children walk in the room,

When my children hop in the car,

When my children and I are reunited after a separation, 

The world is going to stop for a moment.

And I will shine my love into their eyes and into their hearts,

So my children see and feel how much I love them."

According to parenting expert Janet Lansbury there are three key moments when our children want our full attention: when we reconnect after a time of separation, when they are performing or exerting themselves, and during meals. These are three distinct times when I can definitely go hands-free.

Weekly intention: Engage in do-nothing moments

When do I actually sit down and enjoy time with the children, or do I use that time to accomplish tasks (or even worse, waste time on social media)? If I can slow down and spend time with the children I have the opportunity for cuddles, as well as hearing their thoughts, questions, revelations, troubles, or triumphs.
There are loads of opportunities for 'do-nothing moments' in our week: after-school, TV time, swimming lessons, gym lessons etc. What a challenge for me! I need to be available to my beautiful children.
Some ideas for 'do-nothing moments' suggested in the book are cuddle together, take a walk, listen to their heartbeat, sit outside and observe nature, and watch them play.

Weekly intention: Wait joyfully

"It's time to slow down and listen. The world will undoubtedly keep whizzing by, but wait. Just wait. In times of stillness, joy and love can find you, bringing you closer to the place you are meant to be." p97
This isn't an excuse to be late; it is an encouragement to slow down and use the time of waiting to observe and meditate. 

Weekly intention: Go where life is simple

Our modern-day lives can be busy and full of stuff that we feel we have to do. But most of it is not important and we can simplify: "you can only enjoy life when you slow down" p99. But we have to choose it and make it a priority! The challenge in this section is to schedule unstructured family time this week, which I will find hard as I am a planner, but I will do my best!

Review progress from previous weeks

1. Go hands-free at meal times and evenings 
2. Buy/find alarm clock - found and needs to be set and then phone can stay downstairs at bedtime. But I can't work out how to set it!! Way too complicated!
3. Improve the 'school to dinnertime' window - we are getting there and definitely have seen some improvements, but I can continue to do more (as always!)
4. Set aside the to-do list for a time period when Caleb is around and play with him - I need to make more of a concerted effort here and plan to write a List of Fun to work through with him, especially as he's off to school in September
5. Go public on Facebook/blog
6. Tell Steve, Zoë-Grace and Caleb what I am trying to do
7. Start a journal with Zoë-Grace - We have started this! It's slow going at the moment as Zoë-Grace is still learning to read and write, but I love that we've already opened up this communication book.
8. Start an Appreciation Journal with Steve - I have bought the journal and need to start!
9. Have distraction free time with Steve - Need to schedule some more evenings.
10. Improve drive time 
11. Engage in household tasks together - trying, but can do better.
12. Create a Connection Time activity bag - I've started collecting items to put in a bag. I am planning on mostly using things from around the house, but one new item I have bought are some story cubes.
13. Participate wholeheartedly in a loved one's activities - Swimming and gymnastics
14. Take time to pause for what's important - respond to the children immediately, even if it's for 60 seconds
15. Start a simple family tradition - need to have a think
16. Speak words of love - say 'I see you' or 'You matter' or 'I love to watch you'
17. Without fail, give a proper goodbye - chat with the children about some ideas, and make sure Steve and I say goodbye properly

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The book I'm reading is Hands Free Mama: A guide to putting down the phone, burning the to-do list and letting go of perfection to grasp what really matters, by Rachel Macy Stafford, Zondervan.com All quotes are from the book unless otherwise stated.