Hands Free Mama: Clarity

Chapter 6 - See life through undistracted eyes

"Look at everything as though you were seeing it either for the first or last time. 

Then your time on earth will be filled with glory." Betty Smith

Weekly intention: Identify Your Hands Free Enemies

"It is in the times I least want to be Hands Free that I most need to be Hands Free." p110
Oh, this is so true! When I am tired it is so easy to try and retreat and hide from my family, but the tiredness is usually (but not exclusively) my own fault due to staying up too late. My morning's are definitely a difficult time and I need to think about how I can improve them. Back in August/September 2016 I spent some time working through a  2-week course called Make Over Your Mornings and I think I should revisit it - this will enable me to remember the things I learn and discover new ideas for my current mornings.

Weekly intention: Take Ten Minutes For Show And Tell

Zoë-Grace spends most of her time during the week at school, and in September Caleb will be joining her. So I need to make sure that I connect with them when they come home. Our after school routine is improving (see task 3) and we are already spending more time together, but I love the idea of a 'show and tell' from the day.

Weekly intention: Create A Moments That Matter List

If I get upset about small things, then how will I handle bigger issues? God is in control of my life, so I need to relax and trust Him and look for the opportunities that He has given me to connect with my family. For example, waiting for the doctor is an opportunity to talk or play with my children. Rachel Macy Stafford suggests keeping an actual list of Moments that Matter and learn to notice the positives - I'm off to find a notebook! Okay, actually I think I will use my diary and keep everything in the same place...

Notice the Good

To see the high check marks on the report card before I see the low ones …

To see her beautiful swimming form before I notice what place she comes in …

To see she’s dressed herself before I notice the cowboy boots and tank top combination …

To see she’s made her own breakfast before I notice cereal scattered across the counter …

To see the clever artwork she’s created before I notice the mess …

To see the way she beams when she plays her guitar before I notice the out-of-tune notes …

To see the effort and the attempt before I see the mistakes and the shortcomings …

To see the beauty and goodness before I see the flaws and imperfections.

This is how I want to live. To notice the good—always the good—before anything else … and above all else.

© Rachel Macy Stafford 2012

Review progress from previous weeks

1. Go hands-free at meal times and evenings 
2. Buy/find alarm clock - found and needs to be set and then phone can stay downstairs at bedtime. But I can't work out how to set it!! Way too complicated!
3. Improve the 'school to dinnertime' window - we are getting there and definitely have seen some improvements, but I can continue to do more (as always!)
4. Set aside the to-do list for a time period when Caleb is around and play with him - I need to make more of a concerted effort here and plan to write a List of Fun to work through with him, especially as he's off to school in September
5. Go public on Facebook/blog
6. Tell Steve, Zoë-Grace and Caleb what I am trying to do
7. Start a journal with Zoë-Grace - We have started this! It's slow going at the moment as Zoë-Grace is still learning to read and write, but I love that we've already opened up this communication book.
8. Start an Appreciation Journal with Steve - I have bought the journal and need to start!
9. Have distraction free time with Steve - Need to schedule some more evenings.
10. Improve drive time 
11. Engage in household tasks together - trying, but can do better.
12. Create a Connection Time activity bag - I've started collecting items to put in a bag. I am planning on mostly using things from around the house, but one new item I have bought are some story cubes.
13. Participate wholeheartedly in a loved one's activities - Swimming and gymnastics
14. Take time to pause for what's important - respond to the children immediately, even if it's for 60 seconds
15. Start a simple family tradition - need to have a think
16. Speak words of love - say 'I see you' or 'You matter' or 'I love to watch you'
17. Without fail, give a proper goodbye - chat with the children about some ideas, and make sure Steve and I say goodbye properly
18. Create a Sun Delay - after school/preschool greet the children with excitement, interest and warmth - there is no need for my phone to be out!
19. Engage in Do-Nothing Moments - make sure I have time with each child every day
20. Wait Joyfully - and notice what happens! (But make sure I allow enough time for the children to be slower!)
21. Go where life is simple - schedule some unstructured time this week - give the children the choice

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The book I'm reading is Hands Free Mama: A guide to putting down the phone, burning the to-do list and letting go of perfection to grasp what really matters, by Rachel Macy Stafford, Zondervan.com All quotes are from the book unless otherwise stated.